Marian Dingle
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Remember This, Please

8/23/2020

26 Comments

 
Picture
Photo by Michael Henry via Unsplash.
It is the eve of Week 2: remote learning with my coteacher and 26 fourth graders. Week 1 of 2020 was more difficult than Week 1 of my first year teaching, 22 years ago, and believe me, that week was rough. There are so many reasons for this that I won't go into. If you are an educator, you don't need me to.

I am writing this for you, my educator friends who have not yet begun this year. This summer, many of us dealt with our own trauma, sickness, death of loved ones and acquaintances. We tried to imagine what to expect as our districts and schools were deciding how to do school. So many of us learned new tools, curated new resources, all to be prepared for what we had not yet done. It is what we do. We prepare. I get it.

And this is why I am compelled to tell you this now, after completing my first week. You know how they say that you can't really prepare for the SAT? Yes, I know there are prep classes, and this helps with format of questions, and general knowledge. BUT. Those prep classes are based on a bank of knowledge gleaned from those who have taken the test many times. Pandemic teaching Part II is a complete unknown. The test items are not predictable like the SAT. There is no format. At some point, you will have to draw upon all the knowledge you have obtained from many areas of your life. Some days were unending triage.

I have friends who are struggling with making the correct moral decision. Do they choose to teach remotely and care for their health? Or should they choose to  teach in the building and tend to their students' needs? Should they keep their own children at home for their learning, knowing that other parents are not able to make this choice? Is it cheating to actually put yourself first if you are an educator? Is that in the handbook? Doesn't it conflict with the section called "Sacrifice Yourself At All Costs"?

​Ready? Here is what I know. 

You did not conspire to create these conditions. None of us did. While I know that you are busy looking for the right answer to your moral dilemmas, and the right platform and right tools, none exist. And that is not your fault. The first week may very well feel like an ER for which you were not trained. Yes, I know. It sucks.

You absolutely cannot hold yourself responsible for this. Please remember to forgive yourself continually. You will address each issue as it comes. That is your best. It will look different because your best is now limited by conditions you can not control.

I also know that while it is difficult, you will also get through it, because that is what we do. You will find the words you did not know you had, the expertise to troubleshoot unique situations, and the grace to extend to those who need it most. And you know what? You will receive that grace in spades. IN SPADES. Those around you will always remember what you did for them, all the effort you put into planning. Your families will see you. And it will be enough.

Remember this, please.



26 Comments
Carol Johnson
8/23/2020 08:15:09 pm

"Forgive myself and address each issue as it comes "... thank you for the reminder Marian. I have chosen to go into the building to teach; providing we go. We are still negotiating this in NYC. There are days in fearful and days I want to go in for my students.
While I've learned new ways to deliver information over the past 8 weeks, I know it won't be easy. Godspeed to you this school year 🙏

Reply
Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 05:16:02 am

Much respect to you, Carol. We will remind each other.

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Sherri Spelic
8/24/2020 04:17:58 am

Dear Marian,
You have written the letter so many of us needed to read. A comfort when we feel lost and at wit's end. The grace that will return to it when we extend it to others may feel like a fairy tale but it's true. I've seen it, felt it, experienced it. Thank you for reminding us all that the care we give is never in vain.
So much love,
Sherri

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Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 05:17:19 am

I am grateful for you more and more as time goes, by, Sherri. Be well.

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Robert Kaplinsky link
8/24/2020 05:07:29 am

Thanks for helping educators center ourselves during a time when nothing may feel good enough. We'll said.

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Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 05:18:24 am

Thank you, Robert. I will always be grateful for your support and friendship.

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Kara Morton
8/24/2020 06:02:37 am

Marian-
Thank you for eloquently describing the conflicting emotions of so many teachers in this very moment. I’ve been in this “moral dilemma” for weeks as I feel indebted to my ‘children’ at work, their families, my team, my administration. Then I look at my own family and babies. They need me
and need their mamma. I’m worried, scared, and conflicted. As an educator of nearly 20 years, I’ve never faced such a difficult choice. In the end, protecting my family and teaching remotely is where my heart needs to be. That doesn’t diminish the guilt and profound sadness I feel but it does remind me that priorities are where they need to be: family.

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Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 06:30:21 am

Yes, exactly. I pray we find our way through this. Thank you for this validation, Kara.

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Jenna
8/24/2020 06:02:40 am

“You will find the words you did not know you had, the expertise to troubleshoot unique situations, and the grace to extend to those who need it most.”

Thank you, Marian. I have been talking a lot about the need to grant one another grace in the upcoming school year. In my community, I am seeing lots of anger and anxiety about school, and I need to remember that these feelings aren’t going to disappear just because we choose a plan. (We start in 7 days and teachers still do not know whether we will be in person or remote...)

This is such a beautiful reminder to feel what we feel, and extend that grace to the furthest corners. Thank you.

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Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 06:31:13 am

Thank you for getting it, Jenna. Much grace to you and yours.

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Bree Pickford-Murray
8/24/2020 06:25:08 am

Reading these words as I prepare (some more!) to teach my first full-length class this morning was perfect timing. Thank you, once again, Marian!

"That is your best. It will look different because your best is now limited by conditions you can not control." I needed to hear this as a parent, too.

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Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 06:32:13 am

Yes! I can not imagine how I would feel as a K-12 parent. With only one left in college, that is proving quite enough. May you and yours continue to be protected, Bree.

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Ethan Weker
8/24/2020 06:56:29 am

Thank you for this writng, so needed for me this morning as I start week 2 (and the first full week). Like almost every other teacher, I too worked harder this summer to prepare and yet feel more lost in my twentieth year of teaching than ever before. But I think of the work that I know my own kids teachers have put in, and the efforts that they have made, and am reminded of the importance of grace and appreciation for all the efforts they are making. We will make mistakes, in pedagogy and technology and equity, and we will learn and reflect and still repeat some mistakes because there is so much coming at us. Still, I have faith (maybe naively) that we will find a way, teachers, students, and parents together, to support each other and eventually succeed through this time of crisis teaching.

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Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 07:31:59 am

Wonderfully said, Ethan.

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Joanne link
8/24/2020 07:13:20 am

I LOVE THIS: Is it cheating to actually put yourself first if you are an educator? Is that in the handbook? Doesn't it conflict with the section called "Sacrifice Yourself At All Costs"? - NO TRUE. Thanks for this reflection - I will read it often and share it to remind myself I am not alone!

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Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 07:32:19 am

No. We are not alone.

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Shelly Jones link
8/24/2020 03:00:38 pm

Well said! Thank you for your encouragement.

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Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 03:11:32 pm

Thank you, Shelly.

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Trena Wilkerson
8/24/2020 05:51:19 pm

Thank you Marian for your wise words and genuine approach. We must allow ourselves grace and give grace to others. So important for all.

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Marian Dingle
8/24/2020 06:01:37 pm

Thank you for your words, Trena.

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Cynethia Mayand
8/25/2020 05:47:38 am

Thank you! This is so true. You said it all but we will get through this like everything else that's different and new.

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Marian Dingle
8/25/2020 06:35:59 am

Yes, yes.

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Sheila Veatch link
8/25/2020 10:58:47 am

"It (your best) will look different because your best is now limited by conditions you can not control."

I am not currently in the classroom so I am reflecting on this sentence through a different lens. The truth is applicable to, well, life: so many (most?) situations we face are completely out of our control. Showing grace and forgiveness to myself is a gift I need to give myself if I'm to make a difference in those situations that seem impossible.

P.S. - Thank you for these words to your teaching peers - sharing them with my husband now.

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Marian Dingle
8/25/2020 06:03:49 pm

This is such an important insight, Sheila. Grace and mercy sees us through every time. Thank you for reading.

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Susan Townsend
8/26/2020 08:45:12 am

Your words are beautiful and inspring. They also brought tears to my eyes, tears released by empathy and facing the reality of all the unknowns this year.

My "Why I Teach" is stronger than ever for my students, but all the experience and mastery we count on as our foundation to begin and build on each year is being "remodeled" on the fly to meet the needs of our students, schools, communities and own families.

I will be teaching my students on campus and on line simultaneously. Our district leadership has been incredibly supportive of teachers and students and their families as we move into this brave new world with so many unknowns.

I *am* praying for that grace, to have it for myself and to be able to offer it to all around me. Thank you for reminding me we really are all in this together.

Reply
Marian Dingle
8/26/2020 09:40:41 am

Thank you for your comment. We are truly connected.

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